On My Mind.

just thinking.. 
i can dance til my feet bleed and i still won’t have enough. 
i can write til my fingers cramp and i still wont have enough. 
i can sing til my throat hurts and i still won’t have enough. 
i can read til my eyes cross and i still won’t have enough. 
the satisfaction of expression through many outlets, many ways, never seems to faze me. 
and the satisfaction of your expression of my expression, now THAT i still won’t have enough. 

since I’ve been here I guess you could say I’m trying to regain my sanity, maintain my sanity. trying to convince everyone that I’m okay. trying to convince myself that I’m okay. because it’s mind over matter, right? if I say I’m okay, I’m okay. if I say everything will be okay, it’ll be okay, right? right?

Black Hole

his intellect is what pulled me in, but its also what pushed me away. 

he talked so eloquently and every word he said came out so smooth. 

damn, I should’ve known. 

he talked in circles.

big ones, big wide ones, so big you couldn’t see the other side. 

oh he loved to talk, talk without saying a thing at all. 

always agreed with me like my opinions even mattered. 

and I fell for it, I fell hard.

matter of fact I tripped, I stumbled, I seemed to have made a mistake. 

turns out there was no room for me there, another woman was already in the hole. 

so I’m in here looking for my way out, a helping hand, a shining light. 

but there’s nothing, no one and he keeps making the hole deeper. 

I’m drowning in my emotions and suffocating on his lies.  

he steps back and watches me struggle as I find my ground.

asks me if I’m upset & lends a hand to get me out. 

but its late, its too late.

the damage has already been done. 

Di(v)a

Silly Me.

silly me, silly me. 
thought that we were meant to be. 
but it turns out i was wrong, 
cause i’m not your one and only. 
its hurts me to say 
that i came in second place 
in the race to your heart. 
i thought i had a running start. 
but the finish line was too far.. 
but who i am to believe 
that those words that you whispered into my ear were soley for me? 
that those kisses that you planted on my lips were just for me? 
that the way you held me in my arms and touched me so gently were all for me? 
i’ve been living a lie for oh so long, 
i even put it on repeat, my favorite song. 
but you just copy and pasted 
and switched conversations 
and now im stuck here picking up the paces. 
i must say that i would like to win the medal to your heart. 
so call me when you all are done 
because i want to be number one..

di(v)a

The Lies You Told.

you know what. 
stop feeding me those lies. 
cause i’m starting to believe them. 
and even you, 
i bet you believe them too. 
i don’t put it all on you cause i know i really don’t want to know the truth. 
we would no longer be 
if the truth were to come out. 
and you may think you’re the only one with them, 
but i feed them to you as well. 
if you actually thought i was happy in this, 
you were the fool for that. 
so essentially, 
the lies are keeping us together. 
healthy. 
unhealthy. 
whatever it may be, 
but the lies are still lies. 
di(v)a

My Favorite Mistake.

my love for you means nothing if it’s not reciprocated.

for the past months i cherished this relationship we created.

but now, its all gone and i’m debating what we made.

it was great til it faded.

i just wish we could have saved it.

click!

goes the camera and in it the pretty picture,

of what we could have been,

way back when.

thought we were in it til the end.

but now my face is replaced by your new girlfriend.

after all you put me through,

i hate to say it

BUT you were my favorite…

MISTAKE!

di(v)a

the perfect marriage

it was love at first sight.
We met in the light of the night.
Everything was just right,
Just as I had seen in my dreams.
Never known another that could smother me with love,
And somehow I would survive.
Rocky relationship it was
Never knew the true definition of love
But I knew this was it.
He came to my window
I let him in
And after that
It was only me and him.
He held my hand as I went through the day
always in my head running negativity away.
Found him in the kitchen
Saying let’s jump the broom!
And ever since then, MUSIC, I’ve belonged to YOU.
- di(v)a

With My Back Against The Wall.

where can i run to when my back’s against the wall?

tell me, who can can i call?

i face this rough world alone.

the only weapons that i own:

my intellect, which is measured not by what i know, but what i have opened my mind to learn.

my passion, which has gotten me this far, and has conquered everything that i yearn.

my love, which is boundless and generous all the while,

my look, my sound, my voice, which comes in to second by no other style.

so its just me,

all alone,

sent to conquer the world.

when i take off my cape,

lying beneath is only a girl..

- di(v)a

Best Of Me.

honestly, you got the best of me.
but truth is, you only wanted to be in bed with me.
you didn’t even care about the rest of me.
its safe to say you lost my trust indeed.
and with that trust, apart of my heart went too.
cause not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
but fall for it again?
oh no, my friend.
I’ve moved on from boys and upgraded to men.
either way,
these boys play games
and all men are the same.
until someone proves me wrong my mind won’t change.
have I learned from my mistakes?
yes, yes indeed.
but, DAMN, you really got the best of me..di(v)a

You’re Not Alone.

when the times got rough and your heart got broken,

I was there.

when you felt like no one understood what you were going through,

I was there.

when you felt like no one cared,

I was there.

when you felt like giving up,

I was there.

through everything that has transpired I admire your desire.

and when you look over your shoulder,

I’ll be there smiling, clapping, applauding, crying,

because you are NOT alone, we’re in this together.

di(v)a

Afraid.

we’re all afraid of something.
i’m afraid of loving you.
it’s like i’ve just been in a car crash and i’m afraid to drive again.
the trauma from the heartbreak before you has caused me to put up that famous wall that’s impermeable.
it doesn’t let anyone in.
even the people i care most about.
i’m afraid to let my wall down.
it’s like i’ve just built a dam to keep all my emotions in.
but when you came around,
my wall went down,
and now i’m drowning in my own feelings.
i’m afraid that my fear is going to keep me from loving anyone at all.
and most of all,
i’m afraid that you’ll read this and really know how i feel.
di(v)a

Overlooked.

his intelligent stimulation

was more than motivation to see what was his inspiration

find out his goals and aspirations

would he take over the nation?

take me as his lady?

and would we make tons of babies?

i fell in love with his conversation

look forward to talking on the daily.

but has he noticed my admiration?

di(v)a

Intimacy

intellectual intimacy so good to me I can hardly breathe.

power of his words got me on my knees.

now i can’t go on,

someone help me,  

please!

his mind has got the best of me.

i’ve fallen for his intellect, you see?

 di(v)a